Dints, scratches and scuff marks 

We knew it was happening because the producer emailed to tell us, nevertheless I was surprised just how much interest there was in our episode of Love It Or List It being shown for the umpteenth time.

I had messages from people asking if we ‘loved it or listed it’? (spoiler alert: we loved it… happy wife, happy life and all that ) and were Phil and Kirsty good to work with? (They were fabulous )

But one message came in that got me thinking… it simply read ‘what a beautiful home you have’
My response to that was ‘thanks, but you do realise that five years on there’s a lot of paint scratches, dints, chips, coffee stains and muddy marks’ !!

This lent, I’ve been reflecting on two parallel themes: what is seen and what is unseen along with what was then and what needs to be now.

I’ve found myself challenged by passages which on the face of it I can easily say and preach on but at a heart level there is serious self examination. One in particular from that well known chapter in Corinthians has in it the phrase ‘love keeps no record of wrongs’ has caused some forensic soul searching on my part. Does the ‘front facing’ Chris chime with the internal Chris?

This is where I need to bring the dints, scratches and muddy marks et al of recent times to God’s throne of grace and confess my failure and know His Forgiveness.

I need to acknowledge that this self diagnosis goes hand in glove with the ‘then and now’; needing to allow God to do a work in me which frees me from what was in order to live in the present with the Holy Spirit having freedom to move for God’s glory and not be restricted by my clinging on to things unhelpful and detrimental in my journey as a follower of Jesus.

I don’t look back wistfully on a ‘beautiful house’ from five years ago, I don’t look back through the aesthetics of a ‘shiny’ house but rather through the lived life focused on tears of joy and cries of sadness, of impatience and outrageous grace, of tension and a peace beyond my understanding, of utter despair and divine filled hope; on the constancy of Caroline and the children throughout… but above all…. A God who has promised -and continues to promise- that in spite of and because of my warts and all, He will never leave me.

As we move close to Easter, may these last few days of Lent draw you nearer to the Father heart of God with authenticity and vulnerability. May you allow Him to shine a light on all the dints and scuff marks and, in His outrageous and restoring grace may His Healing Hand work a miracle of joy and hope in your hearts.

In His Grip
Chris 

Image by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

Thursday 2nd October 2025 

As the putt rolled in, the emotions leapt out! It was like watching a giant leprechaun thundering around the 18th green, arms aloft, jumping up and down and with a smile as big as the River Liffey. This large guy with a larger-than-life personality was showing exactly what it meant, not just for him but for the team that he was so invested in. The notoriously difficult Bethpage Black Course would henceforth become known as ‘Bethpage Blue’

Irishman Shane Lowry had just secured the vital point that would see Europe retain the Ryder Cup and, in so doing, create history by winning on American soil.

For sports fans, the weekend of 26th-28th September was an absolute smorgasbord of entertainment. Over in America, the bi-annual golf tournament was being staged in New York; here in the UK, the Women’s World Rugby Cup Final was being held at Twickenham between England and Canada in front of a record 81,000 fans. Not to mention the usual football fixtures where most importantly Ipswich beat Portsmouth (2-1 in case you're wondering)!

‘If Carlsberg did weekends’ I thought to myself late on Sunday night after the winning point had been secured in the golf.

And yet, I found myself feeling somewhat troubled by aspects of the golf spectacle. This was in direct contrast to what I saw in the Rugby Final.

What do I mean? Well, in a word: Partisan.

Like many people, I’m increasingly concerned about the polarisation that’s happening in all aspects of life on a global, national and local stage. Sadly, I see it at it’s most prominent ‘over the pond’ where there’s either right-wing or left-wing, conservative or liberal, pacifist or fascist to name but three.

Out of this has spawned those who believe that their opinion is the correct opinion and if you don’t hold to that, well quite frankly you’re weak.

With the golf that took place last week, in amongst brilliant play from both sides, there was a volley of hate directed at the European team (Rory McIlroy got dogs abuse) by a loud minority of American support. It’s one thing to shout out 'U-S-A' to spur your team on, it’s another thing to direct toxic and bile-filled chants at the opposition.

if it was uncomfortable to watch, goodness knows what it was like to play in. There seemed to be an attitude of ‘if our team can’t win, then we’ll do what we darn well can to make yours lose’.

It was not a good look.

But over here, and away from sporting analogies, there’s a creeping – more than a creeping – towards he who shouts the loudest wins!

It’s there is the political auditoriums of cultured settings and outdoor rally’s, where debate has been superseded by unholy shouting matches, and where carefully scripted pieces to camera are designed to undermine, divide and conquer rather than understand, unite and strengthen.

The unhealthy obsession with our national flag, whether being painted on roundabouts or flown from lampposts, is not some awakened patriotism of who we are as a vibrant eclectic demographic and multi-ethnicity nation but rather a ‘keep out, boot out, stay out’ agenda driven by the far right to protect ‘our country’ and destroy the richness of who we have become by welcoming people regardless of creed, colour or culture.

The integrity of who we are as a nation is threatening to be eroded by a fear driven agenda- purporting to be truth - that’s got wired into people through the misinformation highway of the internet.

The statement goes something like this: The crest on my chest says I am the best and yours doesn’t count so I couldn’t care less.

I find myself saddened, frustrated and angry.

But there is hope to be found should we look for it. The Women’s Rugby World Cup Final featured two opponents, both wanting victory and both seeking to achieve it by being the better team. On one level, same as the golf. On another level, so very different.

The crowd made up of supporters from both Canada and England happily met up before the game, sat beside each other during it and walked away together at the end. Canadians sad but proud of their team and England elated and also proud of their team.

There was no crowd disturbance, rather an overwhelming sense that the game had been a brilliant advert for Women’s Rugby…and, in a multi-layered way, it joyously was.

As I reflected on these contrasting scenes, I wondered:

if Jesus were a spectator at both events, how would He report on them?

It’s a moot point I know, but as I visual learner, it helped me to consider what should be true of us when we know that the King of Kings is standing next to us in the crowds?

In the midst of all the flag waving that has been laced with anger and selfishness…

I don’t see Jesus waving any flags.

He doesn’t carry a red and white St George’s flag, and he doesn’t carry a rainbow flag either. To do so would be to say: ‘some count and others don’t’. In fact the closest you’ll get in the bible is when Solomon writes of God: ‘His banner over me is love’.

Jesus predicting His death in John 12 says: 'And I, as I am lifted up from the earth, will attract everyone to me and gather them around me’.

In that place of pain and sacrifice where a partisan crowd gathered, Jesus’ death was the point at which people were drawn to Him because of God’s outrageous grace and amazing love. This is the point where no-one is excluded but that everyone who calls on Jesus’ name can find Hope, Forgiveness, Light and Love, only in and through Him.

Jesus neither stands on the left or the right to argue and debate; He sits in the middle and wants to engage with the conservative and the liberal, the far right and the far left, the fascist and the pacifist. He reaches out to them (and everyone in between) and says: ‘I love you and I want to be in relationship with you’.

This is radical in the very best sense of the word. This is a radical that smashes through partisan blockades with truth, God’s truth told in the life death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus in sacrificial selflessness, not man-made truth based on sanctimonious selfishness.

I can consider the world we live in and despair, and at times I do. But on other occasions, I can recognise that God calls me to model Jesus in how I live my life and interact with people, not least those who I disagree with. Can I model good dialogue that’s respectful and seeks to understand and notwithstanding, to be able to disagree agreeably but make a small difference for the sake of God’s kingdom?

One thing I believe is that God calls us higher, not just in holiness but to be able to speak truth to power through the lens of His Grace, being counter cultural in our language and life by demonstrating the Beatitudes.

Those who stand on their beliefs using religion as their guise will cause division, hurt and hate.

If the world were to stand on the life of Jesus Christ, then some of their beliefs would be shattered and a Damascus-Rd-like recalibration will see scales falling from eyes and hearts being opened to God.

And what of unity? God delights in it. That’s why it is a privilege and a joy to be co facilitating Alpha with my friend Mitch; Anglican minister and more importantly brother in Christ. We put our different denominations to one side and keep the main thing the main thing, namely sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ to seekers.

After all, if we don’t start, continue and finish with Jesus, then what’s the point!

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favour: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

^5-8 Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

^9-11 Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honoured him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honour of God the Father. Philippians 2:1-11

Tuesday 15th April 2025 

'What on earth is he doing?!' I exclaimed. From the other sofa, I got that look from Mrs F before she added 'hey Mr Gloomy, it's just one shot so give him a break!'.

'Give him a break' I thought with barely masked frustration. The guy's cruising towards the only golf major he hasn't achieved and he's about to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The truth was Rory McIlroy was in trouble but it wasn't the kind of trouble he concocted on the infamous final round at Augusta in 2011 when the wheels came off in spectacular fashion. Nonetheless, by chipping the ball into Ray's Creek on the 13th hole when he had acres of green to work with, it felt like at least one wheel had come off and he was going to have to hang on for dear life to stand any chance of putting on that coveted Green Jacket. All of a sudden a three shot lead evaporates and to add insult to injury, his friend and compatriot Justin Rose is heading towards the clubhouse one shot ahead.

The expectation on his shoulders already huge was matched by an overwhelming encouragement from fans in person and around the world who were willing Rory to get this over the line. But the experience of Rory at this event in recent years has been a rollercoaster. Yes, he's come close on occasions but there also appears to have been a mental block on too many occasions and the demons of 2011 resurface and the most gifted golfer in a generation starts getting the 'yips' (read mistakes) and no amount of talent will help if the space between your ears is screaming 'failure....again!'

Here is where the Sports Psychologist Bob Rotella needed to earn his money. In the buid up to The Masters and throughout the week, Bob had been helping Rory to shut out the white noise and play his own game. Part of that was the pragmatism to acknowledge that mistakes will happen but make your next shot your best shot.

Over the next five holes we would see the past 11 years rolled into a microcosm of Rory McIlroy. The genius of playing a shot with so much bend and precision to land a few feet from the hole on the monster 15th hole. The failure of his putter to convert that shot. A ridiculously great shot at the penultimate hole that got him back to winning. Then the straightforward chip shot to the final hole somehow managing to be chucked in the bunker, only for a brilliant chip out but then... horror of horrors, a missed putt that sucked the life out of millions of people watching, me and Mrs F included, at well after midnight. Now he faced a playoff with Justin Rose. How would Rory recover? Had he blown his chance, his best chance possibly ever of winning the one he wanted most? He looked shattered. And yet...

I turned to Mrs F and said 'I think he can still do this'. With tired eyes she nodded but in truth I think she doubted. It all depended which Rory turned up to play and whether he could put the disappointment behind him. Would it be the fragile nervous Rory or the confident 'I know I can do this' Rory. In the end it was the latter. He played the final hole again this time to perfection and when he rolled in that putt, he sank to his knees and the sheer relief poured out of his body. Moments later, relief gave way to ecstasy. Just like the immortal line when Andy Murray won at Wimbledon 'the waiting is over' Rory is champion.

As I consider this Easter week, I heard Rory say something which stuck with me. He said that his quiet and consistent friend and caddie Harry Diamond said to him as they got in the golf cart to set off for the play off hole 'well pal, you'd have taken this on Monday morning' to which Rory said 'I took confidence from that'. I look at Easter week and consider that a lot can happen in 7 days. The expectation of those palm waving, cheering, adulatory crowds gives way to an experience that moves from box office theatre to bile threatening hate. In the space of days, many of the crowd would turn through 180* and throw away their palm branches for clenched fists. Is there any encouragement to be found? Even His closest disciples doubted. Jesus on his journey expresses his fear and doubt about what lies ahead and His Father responds in affirmation so that He can keep going. The pain and agony of the cross could not be avoided but the grave would not hold Him and the joy and ecstasy of victory over death would be manifest on Easter Sunday. Hope fulfilled. As I said last Sunday, we cannot skip from Palm Sunday to Easter Day and pretend that the bit in the middle didn't happen. Our lives are a combination of victory and defeat, of joy and sorrow, of agony and ecstasy. But for me, it is the real hope of Easter Day that keeps me going through the tough times. That whatever darkness I'm encountering, I trust in a Jesus who has gone through the blackout of death and emerged victorious and now lives forever. This year I hold on tighter to this hope than ever before. Death is defeated. Satan is conquered. Strongholds are broken. Jesus reigns. May the hope of this give you renewed strength and all the peace you need with the struggle you're in right now to just keep going.

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12: 1-3 (The Message)

Wednesday 8th January 2025  

‘You’ve got too much sugar in your diet,’ said the nutritionist. My heart sank a little. Sure, I have a sweet tooth but everything in moderation and all that. Besides, I’m easily getting my ‘5-a-day’ in terms of fruit and veg and what’s wrong with muesli anyway?! The truth is that both Mrs F and I needed to have reality defined before we could make any changes to how we eat and what we eat and when we eat it. We’re both on the same page with this and (as a Christmas present to each other) want to have a nutritional food plan that doesn’t just last for January (where we can tick it off as having done the resolution thing) but rather have something that is sustainable and enjoyable. We don’t eat badly but it turns out we’ve not been eating smartly either.

So, here we are sat down with the expert… scanning an eye over the minutiae of all that’s high in protein and the need to be keen on broad beans plus the carbos that help the turbos! Learning about pre and probiotics and the optics of breadsticks and cucumber helping to avoid late afternoon slumber then discovering an early morning water with lemon helps to detox before I’ve even put on my socks! Poetry in motion.

Meanwhile…where was my red line??

‘How much chocolate can I have?’ I asked (with the force of one who had already decided that ‘my chocolate, my rules’ would apply). ‘Dark or Milk?’ she asked. ‘Dark’ I replied. ‘Good’ she said. This was a positive start… ‘but’ ..she continued ( I groaned inwardly) ‘you can only have two pieces a day’. I wanted to ask what amounted to a ‘piece’ but thought better of it on the basis that half a bar probably did not constitute one piece. Discretion is the better part of valour. 90 minutes later though, I was feeling very optimistic about the plan ahead. It turns out that there’s a lot of food I can eat, I just need to do it in the right order and get a better balance. It’s only Day 1 but I’m hopeful for a change that’s sustainable.

Next to the half-drunk water bottle on my desk sits a note stating, ‘plan a lent series on a spiritual MOT’. What does that mean? In mechanical terms, it’s about making sure that the body is fit for service and has an annual health check to shine a light on what needs repaired or renewed, checking the emissions and changing the oil and filters for a better and safer way of life. In essence it parallels the nutrition plan in looking to cut out what’s unhealthy and take on board more of what’s gonna help me as a follower of Jesus. That doesn’t mean putting on a monk’s habit and retreating to be a hermit. It’s about God having more space in my life so that He’s not squeezed to the edges. January is the month where many of us will take an internal health check and look ourselves in the mirror and asks what needs to change. Having social media on my phone is fine but it becomes unhealthy when I start doom scrolling which is depressing in itself. These are ‘emissions’ which are leaving a trail of smoke in their wake. There needs to be less of that but more then of what?

It’s about bookending each day by ‘starting the engine’ with God and ‘switching it off’ when the head hits the pillow and trusting God to help me through whatever trials and successes will emerge that day. 

It's a nutrition plan which constantly needs reviewed – not just annually - with the help of God the Mechanic but it will only get inspected when we are willing to allow God to do that. It’s all to easy to get complacent and think all is fine even when the warning signs are there and wise friends point out unhealthy habits. This is the challenge for me.

I want and need that accountability to check in regularly so that I can ask myself the question ‘am I truly reflecting the God I say I serve’ or is the perception of my life one of a body producing plumes of smoke from a clapped-out motor! The words of Paul in Hebrews are a helpful reminder of what should be in terms of health and focus: Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honour, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he ploughed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

It’s all very well to have the enthusiasm of a ‘Day 1 plan’ but there needs to be determination to see it through. I’m a lifelong learner and every day is new day of hope, challenge and opportunity. I can’t do it on my own, I need God’s presence to keep me going and, even when I get it wrong and have a ‘bad diet day’ which is often, He doesn’t give up on me… or indeed any of us who ask for His help.

Now, where did I put the chocolate?!